Friday, July 9, 2010

anticipation

It is two days before the race and I will admit I am nervous.  First, I feel not so hot physically.  I seem to have caught a cold or triggered my allergies and now have resorted to keeping a box of kleenex in tow with me as I have travel from Chicago home and now today from Denver to Seattle to Missoula.  I am fuzzy headed from the OTC meds and am hoping I can wean myself from them in the next 24 hours.

The second aspect around the nerves seems to be from the looks of astonishment I get when I have told people I am running a marathon this weekend.  They are all very supportive and verbally extend a "good luck", "you can do it", blah, blah, blah.   But the looks on their face, well those are different.  Those seem to be saying "What a f***ing nut case", "why in the hell would you want to do that?", and my favorite was one person who immediately looked at his feet and shook their head after I told him.

So as I sit here waiting for my final flight that brings me closer to one of the biggest challenges of my life I am wondering whether or not to share my plans with others.

My anxiety level is high enough normally, I really don't need it fueled by outsiders questions of my sanity.

I keep telling myself its all good.  I will be fine.  I will feel better.  I will finish.  Uninjured.    I know what matters most is what I believe and know to be true, not what others perceive.

With that in mind, I probably won't chat it up at much over this next flight, but should someone ask why are you going to Missoula, I will answer, proudly to run my first marathon and to finish uninjured.

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